How emotional are tele-sales people? The answer is that they are too emotional. They can cry at the other end of the phone, if you want them to do so. They can sympathize and empathize as well. Something like that happened with me.

The phone kept on ringing so early in the morning and an unknown number that the phone displayed on its delicate screen with illumination and background music claimed its responsibility. When I realized that ignoring a phone call can’t be ignored any further, I picked up the call and made a snake-long ‘hello’ weirdly skewed by a wake-up yawn!

‘Hello Sir, Good Morning! Am I speaking to Mr Santosh?’

‘Yes, you are speaking to me’

‘Sir I’m Pooja, calling from YCYCY bank. Can I speak to you for 2 minutes?’, she told me meekly.

‘See, I have not yet got up from my bed... could you call me up a little later?’

‘But Sir, I’ll take only 2 minutes… and this is to inform you about a new Credit card we have launched in the market’

I did not say anything.

‘Sir, this is a special credit card from our bank. We have launched this product 2 months back and it’s only meant for esteemed customers like you’

‘What did you say?’, I was waiting for an opportunity.

'Sir, this card is only meant for esteemed customers like you’ She repeated the last sentence.

'No.. not that.. I heard something you said about launching the card’ There was a chance for me.

‘Yes sir, that we have launched this card 2 months back’ she said confidently.

‘You said WHEN? ’ I got the curious tone.

‘2 months back, Sir’ she became slightly impatient that that ‘Sir’ was a bit loud.

‘And you are telling me now??’ The plate got turned.

‘What sir? I did not understand’ There was no clue for her.

‘You had launched such a great product, you knew that I was an esteemed customer, and you are telling me after 2 months??’ Melancholy added flavor to my words.

‘You tell me something…. will you go for a wedding for which you are not invited?’ There was no gap for her to talk.

‘No sir.. but..’ She wasn’t getting the issue.

‘Yeah, you won’t… this is something like that… you should have told me earlier!!’

‘Sir.. we are sorry..’

‘No ma’m, I’m utterly disappointed… you have spoiled my mood for the day..’ That was touching.

Sorry sir.. we didn’t intend to hurt you like this…’ Her heart must have melted.

‘Ok.. do one thing, you keep the phone.. let me sleep for some more time… I’ll be alright…’

‘Ok sir.. sorry once again..’ She was very humane.

‘Don’t bother… tell them not to call me again…I’m pissed off with your bank..’ That was really effective.

‘Sure sir… don’t worry, thank you’

‘Ohh thanks’

I couldn’t sleep anymore, as I wanted to tell this to at least one person. That day I had a great laugh.

Sure, someday someone will write a book on how to discourage tele-callers from calling meddling into our lives. Perhaps this one would get a commendable place among the ideas.

To propose a girl, you can’t be funny. If she doesn’t like your fun, you are screwed.

But you can be crazy. Here is an example.

Lena told me last day about the latest proposal she has received. A guy, who she knew from long back, holds all the credit to be mentioned here as he has not only proposed to her, but also has set high standards to his male counterparts!

He proposed her on phone. The summary of the conversation is here.

Dear Lena.. I know you from past so many years and you know me too. But do we know each other the way we really wanted to? So I just thought of calling you up. In case if you had any romantic feelings towards me, you can tell me right now! Otherwise tomorrow, if I get engaged with some other girl, you should not feel that I have been ignoring you!

Good way to deal right?

Any way, I really don’t care what happened next as this girl has nothing much to do with me. She would have possibly accepted it as this guy was handsome and from healthy backgrounds!

Dealing with techies is more of diplomacy than technical. If you don’t have the knack, they could probably squeeze your brain to spill out your good moods and all aspirations to survive around them. You will think of the worst possible ways of murdering yourself, licking a power cable (than licking their feet) or jumping off the tallest building with an anvil-stone tied on your neck (than them throwing stones at you) or something more worse your would opt for.

It’s about those software engineers in IT companies that I’m talking about. If you are fated to become a touch-point with the techies in your organization, you would agree with me with your hands up. They have the notorious traditions of behaving badly to their non-techie colleagues when it comes to work. If you say “Yes”, they will say “No”, you say “No” they will certainly say “Yes” for no reasons. This happens mostly in medium-sized organizations, where everyone connects with everyone.

I have experienced this crisis once upon a time while working for a company named Enable Mobile Technologies. Posted between techies and other departments in the organization, I have found red in each and every moment of my professional life. Though they were good friends outside the office, what was domineering was this out-on-your-face behavior, which was sometimes above what I could bear with. Though none of my gimmicks changed them, I did change, from bossy to angry and arrogant to funny!

One day, something they said was very unprofessional though I had no option but to get the work done. I begged for their cooperation, which I had found absent even in then slightest thoughts. They nodded heads with NO written on their face.

I came back to my table, hanged my head down on my hands. I fancied of getting this work done without any hassles. Suddenly one idea struck me. I opened my e-mail and started writing a new mail to my CEO.

“Dear Atul,

You have placed me here not to fail as a Project Coordinator, but to get the work done under any contrasting circumstances.

I have met with failure in getting done my latest project, and I thought I should let you know about this without you asking me about the same.

Absence of cooperation from the tech team has resulted in this unfriendly situation, and I wouldn’t like to name anyone at this time.

I wouldn’t like to work with them anymore and please accept this as my formal resignation letter.

Yours Faithfully,

Santosh G Wilson"

I sent a copy of this mail to the above mentioned guys also. The moment they received this, they got skewed and came up to me.

‘Why did you do this?” One of them asked.

‘I have my prestige.. love it or leave it, that’s what I believe in’ I retorted.

‘But we didn’t tell you we wouldn’t do it.. we were just telling you some technical improbabilities..’ he said in a calming voice.

‘But I sent the mail already’

‘But.. we.., it wasn’t fine man.. you shouldn’t have done this.. Now what will our plight be?’

‘That’s fine guys… You got enough time to do it... Please do it and let’s see if things can go vice-versa.’ I said artfully.

They went back expressively. Later, they sat together with me and drilled down the pros and cons of the project that was stuck. They took every effort to save the project and save our jobs. Ultimately, the project came out successfully.

On the eve of the project launch, I have shared the same e-mail with my tech friends. They did not understand why I was so inclined to the mail once again.

‘This mail got our work done’ I said.

‘Yes, we agree’

‘But our CEO still doesn’t know about this mail!!!’

‘What??’

‘Yes, look at the mail once again.. look at whom did I sent it to..’

‘But... we can see that you sent it to the CEO… then what are you coming into??’

I showed them how I manipulated the email by writing the CEO’s email id in a misspelled manner. Instead of atulzaveri@enablem.com, it was written atulzaveri@enablen.com.

All of us laughed.

Later on, we never had any problems in getting any works done. Together, we marched along! See, you always need a trick to track the techies!